Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
