my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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