I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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