i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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