There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I understand Curling. That high.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
