Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
