On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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