It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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