I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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