Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
