I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
