Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize