explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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