it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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