just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
