Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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