We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize