i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Less talking, more tequila
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
