my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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