All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize