u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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