Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he thought i was a dude.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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