Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
