I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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