i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize