Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
