Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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