The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
