I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
A+ Viking dick
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think people are normalizing furries
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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