Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize