I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
