You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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