So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
