I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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