they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
