He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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