i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i out mim tonsoeep
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
