YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
