Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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