If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize