So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
