and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
