The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am mentally ready for anal.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
