You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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