Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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