New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need to wash the frat house off of me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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