Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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