if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
