oh god the rape fog is back!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
