apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
