id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
