HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
