So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
