I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
