I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
