Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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