my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
