U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
