I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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