peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize