I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
