it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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